Best known for crying, rattle shaking, and pooping (everybody poops), Stu died 30% into his second year for burning too much coal and driving his SUV way too much. He is survived by no one, because the earth has disintegrated.
Isn't this adorable? The Australian Broadcasting Corporation (or the other ABC) put this site up for the kiddies.
ABC managing director Mark Scott said the site was not designed to offend certain quarters of the community but to engage children in environmental issues.
How do they “engage” the children? By telling them when they should die. Why should they die? Because they're using too many resources of course!
Do it yourself and discover a perfect window into true environmentalism. Try putting in reasonable “green” sacrifices. I'll bet you barely make it into your teens before you “should” die. In fact–to hit the levels they say are acceptable, you need to emit approximately the same amount as the average person in Malawi. To refresh your memory about Malawi, people leave it to live with Madonna. That's how crappy life is there.
By the way, the title of this entry is true–according to the website, I should have died at 1.3 years old. That's 1977. I might have taken that deal to get out of the last couple years of the Carter administration.